What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
11.06.2025 00:32
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Jimmy Buffett's Wife Files to Remove Co-Trustee on $275 Million Estate - Variety
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Roundup: All The Xbox Reveals From Summer Game Fest 2025 - Pure Xbox
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Predator: Killer of Killers Ending Explained - Does It Set Up Prey 2? - IGN
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Job openings rise in middle of trade wars, but businesses are slower to hire - MarketWatch
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
What is Quora? Are there any tips?
She loved him until the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Rock Icon, 78, Hauled Off Stage in Jaw-Dropping Concert Farewell - Yahoo
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I couldn’t, believe it.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But ive been too sick for many years..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I never cut or harmed myself..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What is the degree of influence of Saudi Wahhabism on the modern Muslim world?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
MIT Discovers Magnetic Superconductor in Pencil Lead - SciTechDaily
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
It was going to be , some day.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I have no regrets .
Comes on , in middle age.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Was to survive, this bastard.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I was very sick at this time too.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Ive learnt so much.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
One cannot live in the past .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She found it foreign!.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
What did i know ?
Put me off passion for life!!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I will be 64.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She married twice! .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Im still living with it.
I was seconnd youngest,
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My family never makes their pension either.
Who then, do I blame.?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Would this be the day?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
So whats the point in blame.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I was scared of men, in general
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
This is soul school!.
(And it was in our own minds.)
So, i spoilt her more .
I write beautiful poetry .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
When she asked me how she looked .
I was 9 years of age.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And i lived it daily.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She was in good health!
I think the readers, may guess!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But, we were locked up after school.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I don,t even have a pension.
She wouldn,t have been !
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He knew the spot.
My life is so biszare .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We all went to grammer schools
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Why did i forgive my father ?
All the time i was locked up.
We were not on the streets..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He resisted the act ,that day.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I waited trembling.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I said to her
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I could never make a relationship work though!
But it wasn’t much.